27.2.2012 • today is cancelled / go back to bed

today is cancelled
go back to bed

for a moment I believed it
it was as if
I was a child again
as if being ill was half a blessing again
keeping the monster of school at bay
and the chicken soup and orange juice flowing
the abundance of motherly love
and of childlike blamelessness
listlessness
kids don't need lists
they have their alter mundi
millions of other worlds vast as the stars
and it's not even escapism
when they travel there

the walls are shutting me out
into the void
blueberry red
and carrot purple
cast away forever
legos by the fireplace
cotton snow under the christmas tree
lagged behind
toy castles toy ships toy wars
crosses promises hopes
faded

I have no life apart
no life apart from these
from these trifles

so what what
am I doing roving this world
that should by rights
be purple and be red
or not at all?